This weekend, I went to the ACM awards in Las Vegas. My sister has been working with the Academy of Country Music for the past three years, and this year I joined my mom, aunt, uncle, and two cousins in Las Vegas, Nevada for the 49th annual awards show. We had a blast, spending the first three days watching rehearsals in the mornings and going to the Party for a Cause Festival in the afternoons/evenings to see some amazing performances. Then, on Sunday we spent the morning at the pool and laying in the sun, before getting ready and attending the awards show. Monday was another pool day followed by the ACM All-Star Salute to the Troops taping that will air on CBS in May. We had the best VIP treatment the whole time, with a lovely room at the MGM Grand and Backstage Passes to every event. I went last year with my mom, but having some of my extended family join us this year made it that much more fun. I love country music more than anything, except maybe live concerts and festivals, so this weekend was my idea of a perfect time. They also announced that next year, for the 50th anniversary, the show will be in Dallas, Texas at AT&T Cowboy’s Stadium, so I can’t wait! I’ll be able to do a road trip to get there, and I’m sure everything will be bigger and better (it always is in Texas)!

The only downside to this weekend was that I missed all my classes Thursday, Friday, Monday, and Tuesday, so I have a bit of catching up to do. My teachers have all been really nice about it (I told them I was ill), so I have a bit of time to get back into the swing of things, but I’m still stressed out. I hate not knowing what’s going on, and that’s how I feel in every single one of my classes right now. The rest of this week, and especially this weekend, will be entirely devoted to sorting out my school work.

Five weeks from today, all my finals will be done, I’ll no longer be a college freshman, and I’ll be on my way to Los Angeles to celebrate my sister’s college graduation and spend some extra time with her before I have to go home and work in June. I’m very, very excited, to say the least.

This may or may not be too personal, but I’m expressing myself, and that’s the point of all this.
Since getting to college this fall, I’ve become friends with this girl, and we’ve even signed a lease to live in the same apartment next year, along with a third random roommate. I’ll have my own room, but she will be sharing my bathroom. As this year has gone on, she has gotten more and more temperamental and moody, and I’m not the type of person that can deal with that well. My friends back home and I never got into fights or arguments, or even minor disagreements. I’m very easy-going and calm, and even if I do have a problem, it is very rare for me to confront someone. However, knowing that I’m living with her next year changes some things, as I will be horribly uncomfortable if there is ever conflict in my own home. I don’t think I could handle it, as I avoid conflict, yet I spend most of my time at home. Where would I go? I figured the best way to move on would be to explain myself and explain the situation, and state how I feel about the whole thing. She’s gotten mad at me plenty of times now, and I can’t deal with it anymore. I’ve had many conversations with her in my head, but I figured it was time to lay it all out there. Plus, I was presented with the perfect opportunity.
The conversation above pretty much explains itself, and hasn’t been touched since the last text shown. We have tickets to attend the iHeartRadio Country Festival in Austin on Saturday, and as of right now, I might be going alone. I won’t talk to her until I get some sort of reply other than the rude response she gave earlier, and I am not missing that show. Luckily, I have the tickets. I’m mostly just frustrated that someone could be so immature, but I’m very curious to see how she ends up handling this.
My mom has suggested that I call the apartment complex and ask about switching to another apartment with random roommates, which I’m starting to consider. If things don’t turn around quickly and permanently, I won’t waste my time on her anymore. There are 60,000 people at this school and I am plenty willing to find new friends. I think of myself as an amazing and caring friend, and I won’t tolerate being treated like anything other than that.

This may or may not be too personal, but I’m expressing myself, and that’s the point of all this.

Since getting to college this fall, I’ve become friends with this girl, and we’ve even signed a lease to live in the same apartment next year, along with a third random roommate. I’ll have my own room, but she will be sharing my bathroom. As this year has gone on, she has gotten more and more temperamental and moody, and I’m not the type of person that can deal with that well. My friends back home and I never got into fights or arguments, or even minor disagreements. I’m very easy-going and calm, and even if I do have a problem, it is very rare for me to confront someone. However, knowing that I’m living with her next year changes some things, as I will be horribly uncomfortable if there is ever conflict in my own home. I don’t think I could handle it, as I avoid conflict, yet I spend most of my time at home. Where would I go? I figured the best way to move on would be to explain myself and explain the situation, and state how I feel about the whole thing. She’s gotten mad at me plenty of times now, and I can’t deal with it anymore. I’ve had many conversations with her in my head, but I figured it was time to lay it all out there. Plus, I was presented with the perfect opportunity.

The conversation above pretty much explains itself, and hasn’t been touched since the last text shown. We have tickets to attend the iHeartRadio Country Festival in Austin on Saturday, and as of right now, I might be going alone. I won’t talk to her until I get some sort of reply other than the rude response she gave earlier, and I am not missing that show. Luckily, I have the tickets. I’m mostly just frustrated that someone could be so immature, but I’m very curious to see how she ends up handling this.

My mom has suggested that I call the apartment complex and ask about switching to another apartment with random roommates, which I’m starting to consider. If things don’t turn around quickly and permanently, I won’t waste my time on her anymore. There are 60,000 people at this school and I am plenty willing to find new friends. I think of myself as an amazing and caring friend, and I won’t tolerate being treated like anything other than that.

Falling to Pieces

You know that feeling when you have a “to do” list and you feel organized and ready to get things done, but then things all just start falling apart? Lately, my life has been organized perfectly into lists and schedules, and yet I’m still not following through. I have my budget, my homework due dates, my study schedule for upcoming tests, my chores and errands that I need to do, my shopping list, and more. I’m organized; I know exactly what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by. However, nothing’s getting done. My homework is repeatedly done at 1am the night before, my tests are being taken on the remnants of information left over from night-before cram sessions, and my room is messier than ever. My budget has fallen apart, I’ve run out of bowls, spoons, half of my foods, and some bathroom products, and I still can’t find the motivation to get my life together. I am more upset with myself than ever, and I can’t understand how to fix it.

I was talking to my friend yesterday about senior year of high school, and we noted how you spend an entire year just winding down and being completely and totally done, and then all of a sudden you just have to get your shit together and start everything back up again, ten times harder in some aspects. I think it’s worse for me because I had stopped trying my junior year, so in reality I had kind of taken two years off, and now I have to put all of my effort into things again. I haven’t truly tried my hardest since my soccer years, and even then I began giving up near the end. The problem is, with all of these realizations you would think that I would have some epiphany and everything would snap into place. Wrong. I’ve known all of this since my junior year when it all started going downhill in the first place, but I just can’t bring myself to care.

I want to care, I really do! I just can’t. It happens in all areas of my life. When I try to go on a diet, I plan out what foods I’ll eat or avoid, and what meals I’ll have, and I’ll stick to those meals, but then by dinner I’ll forget and accidentally buy some Chick Fil A on my way home. Same thing with my budget, I’ll give myself an allotted amount of money each month, but then I’ll forget about it when I hear a song I love and buy it on iTunes (I can’t illegally download music, I can’t do it!) or get a drink at Starbucks on my gift card – the same gift card that’s automatically attached to my credit card. I really think that my problem is that I just can’t seem to remember things. My father has always told me that I just don’t think before I do, which is partially true and partly false. I think things through in incredible detail, but when put into action I don’t remember the plan. It’s not that I forget the details either, it’s that I completely and totally forget that there even is a plan. I think it will take time and a bit of maturing, but I’m nervous that there isn’t enough time. I can only waste so many semesters and so many dollars before I absolutely need to remember. I’m trying to sell some things and make up for my overspending, and I’ve done a couple extra credit assignments and trips to office hours, but I need to get my life together enough that I do good in the first place.

I’m done with being good enough or doing something good enough, I want to be the person I used to be. I want to be damn near perfect.

I saw this quote on Mack Brown’s twitter recently and loved it, so I thought I’d doodle with it.

I saw this quote on Mack Brown’s twitter recently and loved it, so I thought I’d doodle with it.

It looks so weird and grainy on here and I don’t like the look of it compared to the real-life equivalent. But, I drew this today because I was experimenting with eyes (I always struggle with them and wanted to practice). It fills the majority of a regular sized piece of plain old printer paper if you were wondering the size.
Rebel Waters is my like typical teenage girl tumblr, so that’s why I wrote that name on it. Feel free to check that page out.

It looks so weird and grainy on here and I don’t like the look of it compared to the real-life equivalent. But, I drew this today because I was experimenting with eyes (I always struggle with them and wanted to practice). It fills the majority of a regular sized piece of plain old printer paper if you were wondering the size.

Rebel Waters is my like typical teenage girl tumblr, so that’s why I wrote that name on it. Feel free to check that page out.

I was in Athens, Georgia from Sept. 20th through the 23rd visiting my best friend at UGA, and I had an amazing time. On friday we went out to dinner at Last Resort Grill with her parents (it was family weekend) and then went downtown. On Saturday we spent the morning at her sorority house (Pi Beta Phi) and then went to the football game. It was pouring and slightly miserable, but the game was eventful, with North Texas even leading at one point. The rest of Saturday was spent shopping at Walmart, eating an extremely delicious dinner at Porterhouse Grill, and once again going downtown. Sunday morning we woke up early to get breakfast at Mama’s Boy Restaurant which was amazing, but had a long wait. After that, we said goodbye to my friend’s parents because they had to leave for the airport, and we went back to the dorm to take naps and finish some homework. Monday morning I was up at 5am ready to make my way back to Texas. I ended up missing 3 classes instead of just the 1 that I had planned on, because my flight was a little late leaving and the metro was late once I got into Austin. The weekend as a whole was so much fun, but it also made me even happier to be a student at the University of Texas at Austin.

An indefinitely vast number.

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